Nose pierce

The Bangladeshi 6abakh asked me “How come Kuwaiti women don't pierce their noses? Muslim women in Bangladesh pierce their noses when they get married. They can only remove it after their husband dies, that’s when jewelry becomes forbidden and white becomes the only color they can wear".

I wouldn’t like to pierce my nose; Belly button pierce seems appealing though. However, I do want to wear white instead of black abaya.

Lucky 6abakh

This morning he greeted me with a 2 weeks check; 1.500 KD for my cappuccino and mineral water. As I gave him the money, he expressed his pity towards our boss who’s leaving. I was shocked cause to me, It was the happiest news I heard this year. So I asked him “do u love him this much?”. He explained that boss gives each 6abakh 200 KD every Ramadan. Now I know that boss has one good deed.

Baba Jabir, am I ever gonna get my reward too?

Solitaire

Solitaire, solitaire, solitary solitaire
You play and rarely win the game
Pass time, gossip, eat, and talk
It’s always recipes, maids, schools and kids with chalk

You disturb me with your loud giggles in the air
One day it’s peace,
Tomorrow, it’s war you declare
One day you visit
The next 30 days you disappear
Sick you say, I think your lie is clear

I see A with B
B with C
C with A
But never A, B, and C

It’s like a diwaniya
Without roo7 wataniyya
3ammo Salih said it right, killehom thi’aab bashariyya

Bart

You liked Simpson, the father of Bart
You filled my chart
Took me to wondrous places in your Cart

You told me you will never depart
You caused me a wart in the deepest part of my heart
All I have to do now is to click restart

Copyright©Flamingoliya

Friend ship she offers

Friend ship she offers
A word she utters
Turns the rainbow to shutters

To the corner she goes
Away from the heroes she chose
Thinking of the solitude she suffers

Copyright©Flamingoliya

Pursuit of the Hirsute

I wish I were a bear,
So I wouldn’t wax my body hair

I search in despair,
For an understanding, hair lover pair

To Nancy Ajram he wouldn’t compare
love and warmth I will spare,
Plus my life to share

Copyright©Flamingoliya

Dear 6abakh

At 7:30 am
me: alo ta3al eshway
he: ana aakil, ba3dain yeeji

3 minutes later...

me: enta sheno takil?
He: marag, 3aish
Me: marag?! Sob7?! Mino sawwi?
He: ee, marag diyay, jeeb min mat3am
Me: mat3am!? Sob7?! Marag?!
He: ee hatha wajid zain
Me: 3ayal sheno ghada?
He: ghada simach, 3aish
Me: enta sawwi?
He: e ana sawwi 6obakh
Me: 3asha sheno?
He: la bas hatha 3asha ba3ad simach, 3aish. Enta wain friend? Shlon bacha? Enta shoof? Mita yeeji?
Me: zain, mako shoof.
He: yeeji ba3ad 6 shahar?
Me: eee
He: ee ana shoof hatha kollo jeeb bacha, yeeji ba3dain 6 shahar. Enta laish mako?
Me: mako wa7id zain
He: mako?!
Me: la mako
He: mako boy friend?
Me: la mako, 7aram
He: la ako, enta 3ala tool kalam fi telephone, halo halo, hahaha..

End of conversation
.......................................................................


Dear 6abakh,
I couldn’t sleep last night. I was thinking of what my boss did to me. I was also thinking of the 7 year old friend ship that ended last night too. I woke up with a stomach ache (7ala nafsiyya). Dear 6abakh, now I’m in a better mood. You made me smile. Thank you.

رسالة إلى

لا أريد أن أترك لك بصمة في حياتي
ولكن القهر جعلني الجأ إلى الكتابة عنك في مدوناتي

New Blog Addiction Sign

I said bloogy shit instead of bloody shit.

We Meet

In the Water Chamber we meet
Each of us races to her suite
Reserved and cleaned
She hides, me squeeze
Symphonies are heard with ease
She laughs, me blush
I flush; to the door I rush

Freezing

For the first time I feel this cold in Kuwait. I love it.
An English client came for work this morning and commented in dislike on the weather. So my colleague told him this weather makes you feel at home. To my surprise, he said, “this IS my home”.

Large BF or lunch?

I prefer having a large Break Fast than starving myself with a piece or two of roasted bread (shaboora) and tea till lunch time. I satisfy myself with a delicious melted cheese croissant (starbux) or turkey special (Casper and Gambini) or hallomi saj (chay o na3na3) or cheese & mushroom omelette on weekends. I can function better and feel better; although some sandwiches edawkhoon el ras wikhalooni asa66il. If diet is your concern, enjoy breakfast and eat less lunch. Isn’t cheese, milk, vegs more nutritious than 3aish o marag?

بلوغره

ملاحظة: يجب قراءة هذا البلوغ أو البلوق بالكويتي الفصيح

أمس وأنا أفرك أسناني قبل ما أنام
قعدت أفكر بكلمة
Blog
بالعربي تنكتب بلوغ
الكاتب يسمى
Blogger
يعني بالعربي بلوغر
ودام إني بنت، يعني أنا بلوغره

Now here’s the equation:
Blog (n.), Blogger (male adj.), Bloggarah (female adj.)

أنا بلوغره
أقرى المدونات (ياشين العربي إذا كان مترجم) وأشتهي آكل همبورغره
ودي يكون عندي ابقره
إذا يات أمي أخشها بالسندره
أدري فيها بتقولي: فكينا من هالدندرة

يقولون إن البلوغ يعتبر منتفس، وأنا نفست عن إلي بخاطري
والي مو عاجبه يخليني بريحاتي


Note: This post is inspired by ebreaz’s blog about the meaning of the word blog and it’s uses.

Blog Addiction

I’m new in the blog world and I think I got addicted fast. Blogs became my bedtime story and my morning break fast. It’s 8:30 am now and I just finished eating my sandwich. I looked at my key board and it was full of flour and breadcrumbs! I thought my chin was the only affected area as I spilled zait zaytoon mal el za3tar while reading interesting comments.

When I was first introduced to the internet I got addicted to IRC, then ICQ, then I started registering in every email service provider I found on the net. It felt like collecting treasure. I had too many accounts with a single password to keep track on them although I didn’t have that amount of friends to email me. I got addicted to html and web design and finally I discovered the most important use of internet, that is culture.
Now I’m getting addicted again. A mere sign of it is that I used to say to myself unconsciously “log in, log out” as I go in and outside my car instead of “lock, unlock”.
NOW, I switched to “blog, unblog”! Damn, I’m not ready for a new addiction. Before I registered with this blog, I spent hours reading and watching what’s going around till I got familiar with this new world. I was always amazed at how people tracked comments on different blogs especially when there’s no notification when people comment on your comments on others’ blogs (there isn’t is there? I hope there is!). Now all what I do is tracking blogs. It’s pretty tiring, bas shasawi, balwa webtalait feeha.
I wonder what my next addiction will be. Oh well, as long as they are 7alal addictions then I guess there’s no real harm.

For my fellow bloggers out there, have you noticed any other blog addiction signs?

سألني عن عمري

سألني عن عمري فلم أعر له أية انتباه، ذهب إلى المطبخ وبعد دقائق معدودة رجع لأخذ كوب القهوة، فسألني عن عمري مرة أخرى، وعندما وجدني لا أجيب قال بأنه يعتقد بأن عمري يتراوح ما بين ال17 و ال18 سنة، فشعرت بالسعادة الممزوجة بروح الشباب وتمالكت نفسي لكي لا أخر ضاحكة فيفتضح عمري الحقيقي، قال بأن هذا ما يعتقده هو، أما بقية العمال بالمطبخ يقدرون بأنني أبلغ العشرين فما فوق، أما صاحبتي والتي هي في مثل عمري قدرها بأنها تبلغ الخامسة والعشرين. لقد شعرت بالفخر بأن العمر لا يبدو علي والحمد لله، ولكني ظللت أتساءل عن مدى شعبيتي بالمطبخ، الأمر الذي أدى إلى نقاشات وتقديرات، إني سعيدة وأتمنى أن تكبر الدائرة وتصل إلى مكتب المدير لعله يشعر بوجودي و يقدر مدى الوقت الضائع من عمري في أداء عملي لكي يكافئني ويرسلني للدورة التي أتمنى الحصول عليها وباتت مرفوضة، ممزقة، ومرمية بالقمامة

سخرية الأقدار

كنت منهمكة بالقيام بعملي اليومي حين جاء الفراش الذي يختص عمله بالمطبخ لتحضير الشاي والقهوة لتقديم القهوة التركية بناء على طلبي، حينها طلبت منه أن يحمل الملف الثقيل على عاتقي إلى غرفة الأرشيف، مد يده وأخذ الملف قائلا: فايل روم (غرفة الملفات)؟، فقلت له: نعم، فانطلق الفراش من الجنسية الهندية إلى الغرفة متذمرا يهز رأسه وهو يتلفظ قائلا: أنا مراسل؟

إني معتادة على سماع تذمر العاملين حيث أن كل واحد منا يتمنى الحصول على وظيفة أفضل و مركز أعلى، مما يجعلني أتساءل، هل وظيفة الفراش أرقى من وظيفة المراسل؟ أم أنه مجرد عدم الرضا على أداء وظيفة ليست من تخصصه؟

Hot Mocha

He brings me my morning marks & Spencer mocha
Mixed as ordered
Sprinkle chocolate powder on its gracious froth
Today I decided to mix the mocha myself
I wanted to enjoy stirring its ingredients
Hot water I ordered, with a spoon
“Enta sawwi” he stated
Yes, I replied
Now I am drinking my hot mocha and the cold breeze is blowing behind my back
I do not know what I would do without my window over looking the beautiful scene
A shining white dyed yard with a green dyed center
Plants and flowers I imagine
As Colleagues, envy my strategic desk over looking gracious Eden

Copyright©Flamingoliya

Why do I hug thee?

Why do I hug thee?
Why do I long to see you when we are miles apart?
Why do I miss you when you are not around?
Why do I squeeze you when I watch candy man?
Why do I pull your hair when I am reading Frankenstein?
Why do I look at you when I wake up in the middle of the night?

My handmade cotton stuffed piece of cloth,
You do not have a beating heart
You do not listen to me when I shout
You just rest on my shelf like a precious piece of art
When I struggle with my damn old fart

Copyright© Flamingoliya

Alien

I’m an alien I’m a legal alien I’m an English man in new York
I loved this song at that time and still do, thou this is the only phrase I knew and understood back then, and the only one I can still remember

At gatherings, I’m alone
At work, I’m alone
With family, I’m alone
But in my room, I’m not alone

I have my dolls
I have my beauty creams
I have my pillow
And I have my sweetest dreams

Copyright© Flamingoliya