Friday, April 29, 2005

Do You Have A Non-sticky Lipstick?

For the first time since I started blogging I don't feel like posting. Even my mind posts that used to haunt me in my bed, car, work… etc have stopped.

She caught me. She used to check out my blog from time to time. Had a few doubts that it was me but I kept denying and affirming that "since when did I have the ability to write both in Arabic and English?" And she believed me.

I tried to post in a vague way. There were so many details I wanted to talk about but hid them so that she wouldn't catch me. In the past few weeks, she stopped checking mine. So I felt a little freer in posting without so much repression. Before a few days, and after my latest post she called me and told me for sure that I am Flamingoliya. This time I couldn't hide it cos she spent the whole afternoon checking my whole blog finding endless clues that it was me. I tried to deny it like I used to do.

Although she already knew it was me, she needed my affirmation. It was hard for her to believe that it was really me all this time and she didn't know. "How did you keep it private all this time? Why didn't you tell me? I introduced you to the blog world and you owe it to me to tell me!"

She made me confess that it is really me. She threatened to tell the whole world if I hadn't. So I with all my weakness submitted to her command. One person knowing is much better than many. But, do I feel like blogging the way I used to? No. Do I feel like commenting like before? No. I am censored now. I am read now. I am judged now. I am followed by a fly; a fly that sticks on my juicy fruity lipstick. I try to wave it away, I try to ignore it but it still flies back. I thought of removing my lipstick, but I hated it when other bloggers did. I thought of stopping wearing lipstick but here I am wearing it again. I thought of changing the brand of my lipstick, but she would recognize me again.

She will be reading this post. I know she would be laughing the whole way and would end up saying "ya 7mara hahaha!"

We made a deal that she wouldn't tell anyone. She accused me of disloyalty but I knew that a secret cannot be kept between two. Especially when it is told to a blabber mouth (you know you are, so please don't get upset). I even know that even secretive people may expose information unintentionally.

Maybe she knowing that I am Flamingoliya would make me more open to some stuff that I used to hide from her to preserve my anonymity here. You see, there were a lot of events happening to me in real life that I stopped telling her so that I would share it with bloggers. She over heard me once telling a story to someone and told me that she read that story at Flamingoliya's blog "you are Flamingoliya!"

Maybe she knowing who I am now would make me more reserved since I don't like sharing all my feelings with her. She will be able to know the reasons behind my different moods. She will be able to know why my eyes are red and puffed. She will know why I'm eating too much chips and chocolate. She will know why I'm late for work.

I lost my privacy. I lost my diary. I lost my real self; I lost Flamingoliya. (Doesn't this phrase make you want to cry?)

She didn't understand why her knowing who I am disturbed me. She thinks that my blog is normal and that there's no reason for hiding it. She doesn't understand that despite my kind of blog, it is my private world that I dwell in alone. It is my anonymity that I am enjoying. It is my people's applause. It is people's love and admiration. It's my secret hideaway. She cannot get that. Not all people get it. But many do. If she were one of those who do, I wouldn't have been reluctant to tell her.

And again dear folana, this is my blog and don't come questioning me why I wrote this post. Ehhh don't even comment on it, cos you know why!

Monday, April 25, 2005


هل تعتبر البلوغة بلوة؟

Sunday, April 24, 2005


Dear blog,

Just when I thought had a perfect vacation
Just when I went to funeral that broke my heart
Just when I read the paper for a more heart breaking story
I always hated the paper for it's depressing politics, now I'm hating it more for the daily even more depressing murders and accidents
Don't tell me I'm illiterate, don't tell me I'm not educated, If it's the newspaper you judge me by
I hate you and I hate what you read
Let me live in my world
Let me be inside my shelter

Just when I munched two packs of chips
Just when I drank my chocolate milk
Just when I occupied myself with my hobby
Just when I had a feast for dinner to forget about today's miseries
Just when I felt like I missed you
Just when I thought that we need to see eachother after my long withdrawal from you
Just when I decided to go out for lunch with you

Just when I called and you didn't reply
Just when I thought you were sleeping early so I smsed you
Just when I found no immediate reply
Just when I was feeling thrilled that tomorrow I'm going to work
Just when I felt thrilled for the first time in so long
Thrilled that it's finally time for my course to begin
The course I've been waiting long for
I went to bed early
I was so excited that that I've finally become a good girl and went to bed early

Just when I fell asleep
You called
The ringing tone was turned high so that I wouldn't miss my morning class
You interrupted my sleep
You interrupted my night, my tomorrow, my class, my supposed lunch

You sent a msg that I didn't reply to cos I was sound asleep
Two hours later you called thinking I was awake and ignored your msg
How would I ignore your msg when I was the one who suggested the lunch
I called back to cancel I could sleep no more
Anger was killing me
The huge feast was burning my stomach
You were polite and apologetic and so I had to become one
I wish I shouted
I wish I expressed my anger more
But as usual, it's always misunderstanding between me and you
No more breaks from you
No more dates with you
All I have to do now is fake and imagine we canceled the lunch out to be able to sleep again

Why when I thought I had the perfect day
Why when I thought I had the perfect night sleep
You come and ruin everything, just so bluntly and naievely
No more you..... Yes more blogy blog.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Call for Human Rights

جاءني ينتفض غضبا
ما بكم تصرون على حقوقكم السياسية يا نساء الكويت
فحقوق الإنسان هي المسلوبة هنا
وهي الجديرة للنضال وراءها قبل حقوقكم السياسية

معاشي لقد خصموه
مبلغ كبير جدا.. ما هذا النظام المتبع هنا
أعمل بكل جهد حتى في منزلي.. أعمل حتى في إجازتي.. عملت شهرا كاملا دون انقطاع حتى تم تجديد عقدي دون صرف أي مستحقات لي في ذلك الشهر المشئوم

قلت له.. وما بالك الآن

فقال.. هل تذكري إجازتي الماضية.. فقد تغيبت بضعة أيام زيادة على إجازتي الموقعة والآن يريدون خصم راتبي بسبب بضعة الأيام تلك

قلت.. نعم فتلك غلطتك لم تغيبت

قال.. نعم تغيبت ولكني أرسلت لإدارتكم الموقرة طلبا لتمديد إجازتي .. ولكني حين عدت وجدت الطلب ملغى على جنب فالسكرتيرة لم تعر له أية انتباه

أنا.. إذا فهي ليست بغلطتك…

هو… لا ولكن هل من يسمعني… فالمسئول اتبع قوانين شئون الموظفين على الرغم من أن كلمة واحدة منه تستطيع أن تخترق هذه القوانين… هل استبدلت أيام غيابي بإجازة مرضية مثلكم أيها الكويتيين.. لا… هل اخذ المسئول بعين الاعتبار عملي الإضافي خلال ذلك الشهر.. لا… هل أخذ بعين الاعتبار بأن شغل الإدارة بأكمله يقع دائما على عاتقي.. لا… لم… لأني أجنبي وحقوق الأجانب عندكم مهضومة.. يستغل حاجتي للعمل لديكم حتى ولو هضم حقي

أين حقوق الإنسان لديكم.. فالحيوانات في الدول الأجنبية صار لديها حقوق.. أما انتم فلا.. لا هذا ولا ذاك

هل تعرفين فلان و علان المراسلين.. هل تعلمين بأنه قد تم خصم ثلثي راتبهما ليصبح عشرة دنانير.. هل تعلمين لماذا
لأن سائق الباص الذي يقلهم من مسكنهم إلى مقر العمل تأخر عليهم اليوم فوصلوا متأخرين نصف ساعة..

وهل لديك أدنى فكرة عن مسكنهم
الخمسة أفراد منهم يعيشون في غرفة واحدة ..الواحدة منها كحجم مكتبي (3 * 2/1 4 متر)
وما يجعل الحال أسوأ هو أن لكل خمسة عشرة شخص من هؤلاء حمام واحد فقط!
حمام واحد تنقطع منه المياه بين آن وآخر مما يجعلهم يلجن إلى الاستحمام في المساجد..
وانتم هنا تتذمرون من رائحة أباطاتهم..
هل يعقل هذا .. حقوقنا نادوا بها كمناداتكم لحقوقكم.. لا وبل قبل مناداتكم بها.

Sunday, April 17, 2005

Archived Heart

Flamingoliya picks up her diary from her archives in her dusty shelves.. finds this topic about love.. she laughs at herself saying "ya7leely" how did I write all that? So she decides to share her diary with you hoping you'd learn from the mind and heart of a teen.. some years ago....
This is posted without any alteration in launguage or grammer from an original diary.

I always wondered what love is ,I read love stories and poems, watched romantic movies, surfed the web using the word (love), and asked people in love about the meaning of love. Despite all the effort I did, nothing helped me understanding except when I really fell in love, that's when I knew how it felt, not" what it meant" for it has no way of description, no words to express, it's all about powerful feelings that no one can know, except those who experience them.

Although love is hard to define, but I feel the urge to describe it for those confused people who don't know yet where they stand. True love starts with like and admiration for that special someone, you like them for who they are regardless of their faults; that is if you found any.

It's when your spirits unite no matter how far you are away from each other.
When love strikes you, you feel on top of the world and you're the happiest person alive.
When you walk together, you fear other peoples envy, for you found love, and they are still searching.

It's when the thought of your love doesn't leave your mind however hard you try to occupy yourself. You see their face on the TV. Screen, beside you when you're feeling blue, talking to you when you're feeling lonely, comforting you when you're in pain. They are the first thought that comes to mind when you're in crisis, for no one can heal you from pain except their charming self.

When you're together, no one else matters but them, all other people seem worthless compared to them. When you love someone, you start comparing them with whoever you meet. If you find
who you think are better people, your love wins the contest at the end, because there's no one who's as good as him, or in other words, no one makes you happier than him
He surpasses them with his soul, the mutual understanding you have, the love you share, and the feeling of total comfort that you rarely find in anyone.

When you're together, you never run out of words, even when you do, what matters is that you're together and that's what counts. No matter where you are, where you live, or what you're doing, you never get enough of each other. The word boredom doesn't exist as long as you have each other; he's your first and last source of entertainment.

Trust plays a great deal in communication. Don't listen to what friends say about him, just listen to your heart, and it will show you the way. Being honest and open matters too. You never know that you're thinking of the same thing unless one of you opens up. If you really love each other, you will listen carefully understand each other, and exert yourself to solve any problem you have in communicating .

Nothing feels better than having someone to listen to your fears, thoughts, problems, and worries like that unfair teacher, your dictator mother, that copycat friend, annoying boss, or the D you got on your geography exam.

Love is when you're not afraid to act silly together, because you know that they like you as a whole including that silly overbearing part.
Time flies unnoticed , hours pass by like few minutes, because you were too busy enjoying
each others company.

He becomes your lover, best friend, father, brother, and best of all, your guardian angel!
No matter how many people you meet, how many friends you make, you stay loyal to each other because you know no one else can fill their place.

Love isn't the only new word in your dictionary, but there are others that you start to know their real meaning. Words such as missing. It's no longer that three letter phrase you say to everyone. Missing your love is different; it makes you feel hollow and empty.

you miss them every minute you're away from each other. You may have chest pain that doesn't leave you until you get together. Jealousy is another new word. you want to be the only one In their life who matters. although you know that you are, jealousy still plays a big part.
You never get rid of it because you can never own someone, lock them in a cage, and forbid them from other relationships, or in other words, from other human interactions.

Another word is worry. You always hated you mama for being over protective, well here's why,
It's because she loves you and it's out of her control. You worry about your loves health, grades, and even car speed which you always thought is cool!
Saying "take care" when they leave home means "take care! I'll be here waiting for you, don't be late, or I'll start to worry". It's almost like what your mama always did to you. Well, it's now time for you to suffer!

When he has a goal to achieve, like winning a football match, succeeding in an exam, or running an interview, you encourage him to do all his best because you really wish him all the best. You even go to pray even though you are not that religious. It's all because you want him to be happy and successful.

Love songs, romantic poetry and movies all have a new touch now that you're in love, you never understood why Romeo and Juliet killed themselves at the end, or what Celine Dion meant by " you were my".

So go ahead, exploring their new meanings which were always vague. That precious pearl that rarely fell from your eyes now becomes a non stop tap. This is all I can say now about love, but remember, my thoughts don't count, they are only the expression of what I feel, but feelings can never be understood when they are not felt. These ideas can only help you if you were confused and feeling lost. you will never know what love is, only when you fall in love!

If you didn't yet, don't panic, someday you'll find it at your door step without notice, just be patient and grab the chance when it first comes to you. And remember
"sometimes of everything you're looking for, is the one thing you can't see".

Please note that the mind and heart of the writer has changed dramatically throughout the years...

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

No More Eating in the Office

Just this morning an English client whom I adore bumped in to my friend’s office where I was hiding. I was so indulged in eating my (chay na3na3 saj) sandwich and didn’t notice him coming. As usual I had to tell him that my friend was absent with a mouthful.

He nodded, tapped on my shoulder, hummed a few words, and left. So embarrassing (Fashlaaa)!

And just now, my colleague (No.1) appeared out of no where when I just had my first sip of Turkish coffee. Turkish coffee drinkers will know what I mean! Regardless, I had to grin at him cos it’s been ages since I last saw him.
No more eating in the office. NO MORE!

Hey boss! I need a locked door please! As If I had walls to begin with!

eh, doh, how can I help you?

6abakh update: he showed me his daughter’s picture. She looked very nice and elegant! Even her room looked rich and neat! I wonder how and where he got the money from and how come he’s working as a servant here! Her dress was beautiful and very similar to my red wedding dress. She wore lots of gold too just like a traditional Kuwaiti bride. Ok this time I really wanted my own copy of the picture.

*whisper* as he was taking the picture out of his pocket, I was anticipating the picture of you know who ;P

Monday, April 11, 2005

I love your blog, I love you

We easily say, "I love your blog", "I like your blog", or book mark our favorite blogs. A blog represents it's bloger. So when we say that we love a blog it means that we love the bloger behind it.


Would you easily say "I love you" to any bloger? I guess not. So beware whom you confess your blog love to ;P

Blogily yours,
Flamingoliya Flaming Flames

Sunday, April 10, 2005


"..... always want to be a .....'s first love. That is their clumsy vanity. We ..... have a more subtle instinct about things. What we like is to be a ..... 's last romance."
Fill in the spaces with the following words:
(women - men - man - woman)
I will add the author's name later, to avoid any kind of cheating.

Post Update:
For a discussion generated from this quote. Please check The Don's post.

Saturday, April 09, 2005

Blog Yourself,,, Express Yourself

I’ve been thinking of Mubtade’s question about common traits for bloggers. Are we shy? Is that why we blog?

I found out the answer today - while driving too... I recorded my mind post on my mobile following Hopeless poet’s advice for posting on the run, but when I got home, I could only hear the sound of the AC and cars!- that the main reason I post is that I find difficulty expressing myself in real life. Writing is much easier for me. I guess that’s why we have great writers.
Writing is my refuge.
"weinich ya Um AlDawahi! Come cure my vocal chakra!"

I’ve noticed many common star signs among bloggers too. There are a lot of Capricorns and Libras for example. Does that mean anything, character wise?

Flamingoliyan copied thought for the day:"I believe accessories make the outfit. That's why when I buy a new blouse; I usually get a Ferrari to go with it".

Friday, April 08, 2005

Um Al Dawahi

أم الدواهي

كيف بنظرة وبلون هالتي حللتني وعرفت تفاصيل حياتي ونفسيتي بوقت وجيز وبين العشرات من الناس
تلك المرأة التي ذكرتني بمدرسة الموسيقى بالثانوية ورائحة الطبخ التي تفوح منها

أهي طاقة كما يطلقون عليها أم سحر مبين
أهي شعوذة، هل عاونها رفيقي الجني
أهي موهبة أم مجرد تلفيق كحال الأبراج الهوائية

لم يكن انذار أو علاج منك يا عزيزتي
بل كان ذهول نتج عنه نفور
كان جرح أسلتي دمه بعد التآم استغرق سنون

من أنت وما أنت
إنسية أنت أم جنية
ليتني لم أقابلك

رسالة اليك يا أم الدواهي
لم تكن لدي حيلة فيما قدره الله لي
ولكن الآن لي يد بما أختار وكيف أعيش

تمنيت في طفولتي وحتى فترة ليست ببعيدة أن تكون لدي كريستاله كالتي تمتلكها أم الدواهي
وكنت أحلم أن أقول
أنا أم الدواهي في الخير تلقاني وفي الشر مابتعرفش مكاني

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

I Got Engaged

It has been long since I last talked about 6abakh (the Bengali servant at work-farrash). I cannot resist telling this story.

He just came to me with a plastic folder that had his son’s pictures printed in color on an A4 paper with different sizes. He showed it to me and told me that his son is 18 years old. He is planning to get him a visa to bring him to Kuwait. He was very happy and proud with his son’s pictures and told me that he will hang one in his bedroom (so sweet) and the other he will send back to Bangladesh (so sad). (for a moment I thought that I was going to get my copy too).

6abakh told me that he would let me and my colleague meet his son once he arrives to Kuwait. I showed him that I was looking forward to it. So as soon as he put the picture back in the folder he asked: “enta laish mako zawwaj?” meaning: “Why aren’t you married?” (so typical)
I told him that I did not want to and that there were no good men (so self-defensive). He said: “wa7id, marrah dakhal dinya, ba3dain khalas” meaning: “We only live once, life is too short, enjoy it as much as you can” (so fatherly).

So, should I consider that 18 year old Bengali? (so pathetic)

Which dress should I choose? I need feedback please!

Monday, April 04, 2005

Broken Hearted?

No Juliet will I be
by Aliengoth

I will not lay down and die
Because my love is taken away
Nor will I hide and simper
Pining for a love that is gone

I am stronger than that
No Juliet will I be

Lost love will not be
The death of my heart
I will not taste of the poison
Nor play with the knife

I am stronger than that
No Juliet will I be

I am not some child fresh to love
Naïve to matters of the heart
Blinded by honeyed words
Existing only for my love

I am stronger than that
No Juliet will I be

Love is meant to set you free
Not bind you down
Taking all rational thought
Destroying you from within

I am stronger than that
No Juliet will I be

If a Juliet is what you dream of
When you dream of me
Then dream of another

No Juliet will I be

I'm Happy

Welcome back Dr. Fawziyya Durea
< correct my spelling

Sunday, April 03, 2005

He Needed Help

He called all the way from the states to ask for help. His friend accused him of impregnating her. Her family knew and he didn’t know what to do as her father threatened him. What was I supposed to tell him? I knew he was a straight guy who didn’t even have a girl friend to go out with. Now calling me and telling me this whole story?
He sounded very serious and I had to support him even if I thought he was wrong. But did he really do it? who was I to trust? my instinct? his voice? or hers?
I was the only family he confided in so I had to believe him.

We had a long discussion on different solutions. It was the biggest problem that no one had ever confided in me therefore I did all my best to help. Days passed with growing worry until one day he called and told me that it was April’s foul.
WHAT? I would have strangled him if he were in front of me. So since that day, I had the first of April marked on my calendar as a reminder.

So guess what I had last Friday? I had a wedding to attend. I swear that all the way there I was preparing myself incase there turned out to be no wedding at all. I even felt sorry for the bride incase there was a wedding but the groom did not show up.

Thank God there was a wedding, and the groom did show up :)