TooT tOOt

تقول الأخت الفاضلة دبليو من المملكة العربية السعودية
انا مقبلة على ٢٥ وشايلة هم القطار اللي بيفوتني،، مير* اصلا ما ادري وين المحطة

وتقول الأخت الفاضلة بروك من الكويت
هالعمر فيه عيب واحد .. الا و هو انج راح اتلقبين بلقب جميل جدا اذا ما تزوجتي

أما الفنان راشد الماجد من المملكة العربية السعودية فيقول
القطار وفاتنا

التحليل
أنا أقول بما أن دولنا هذه ليس بها قطار واحد فكيف لنا أن نطوفه وكيف لنا أن نسأل عن الطريق إليه

النتيجة
لا يوجد قطار

الحل
أن نتبع ما يقوله الفنان عبدالمنعم مدبولي من جمهورية مصر العربية
توت توت
توت توت
توت توت توت توت توووووت

Um Rashed

تعلن (أم راشد) عن افتتاح مقرها الانتخابي بقاعة الراية

ولكل عانس ومطلقة طشة فال وبديكير ومنيكير وأبر تفخ الشفايف ورفع الحاجب

ويوجد لدينا دكتور لشد التجاعيد وشفط الدهون

كل هذه الأعمال مجانا

لا تترددن بأصواتكن أيتها نون النسوه

سوف أمحي كل عنوستكن

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موضوع آثار التقدم بالسن وكيفية المحافظة على الشباب أصبح محور حديث زميلاتي اللاتي يبلغن من العمر الثلاثون وما فوق، كل واحدة تنظر في مرآتها الصغيرة وتتفحص وجهها وصفة أسنانها، يتناقشن حول التجاعيد التي تظهر أسفل العين، خططهن المستقبلية حول العلاج بالبوتوكس وأفضل أنواع الكريمات المستخدمة مثل ماركة أوباجي

هذه الماركة لديها عيادة طبية بالكويت لفحص البشرة وتحديد نوع الكريمات، ما أثار دهشتي هو تقديمهم علاج لازالة رائحة الابط

ألا تتمنون ارسال بعض معارفكم هناك

Botox

Obagi

ماذا سأفعل يا ترى حين أبلغ الثلاثون، آآآآه الثلاثون وما أدراكم ما سيجره الثلاثون

رقم مخيف

ليس به رحمة

لست بطفلة ولست بمراهقة

لست بفتاة ولست بصبية

ثلاثون

ثلاثة من العقود

هل ستجرني الى قبر يملؤه الدود

أم جنة تملؤها الورود

هل ستتحول حياتي من رقود وركود وجمود

الى حياة فيها يتحقق الوفاء بالوعود

هل سينطفئ القلب الحسود وتتلاشى كمية الوقود

أم سيطعن بالبارود

مالت على الهنود

يسمون الحليب دود

Short Story

Once upon a time a guy asked a girl: "Will you marry me?". She said "No", and the guy lived happily ever after. Author unknown


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My Date With The French Guy

It was a blind date. We met by a mutual friend. I was late for the date but he was too sweet that he didn't say a word. He looked older than I thought. But he was fine. He was masculine and cute. As I laid under his arms, his friend called. He told her "je suis travaille" with his charming french accent. I was glad that he didn't want anyone disturbing him while being with me.

He asked me if I felt a thing and I said no. He didn't like what I was wearing so he gave me a green robe, white hat, and blue socks. I didn't like the colors, but I didn't care. He applied strawberry lip stick on my lips. I thought that was rude, as it meant he didn't like the one I was wearing but I still didn't care. We didn't talk much. It usually makes me feel uncomfortable when we don't talk much but I knew he was too busy admiring my white teeth. I was so happy and light headed that I fell a sleep. When I woke up, I didn't find him there. Instead, I found a pregnant lady wearing a robe just like mine. Was I in the delivery room or what? All I remember is that I had a date, I don't recall getting married or becoming pregnant. She took me to the sink and made me swallow two large pills. I looked at the mirror above the sink and I saw a stranger. Who is this! Where is my face! What have you done to me? Where is my french date?!

She didn't answer me. She just made me undress. Wicked lady. She took the robe that my date gave me and threw it in the bin. But why? I wanted to keep it as a souvenir. It smelled like Paghi (Paris). She said that I cannot take them while placing a small container in my hand. Strawberry balm was written on it. Great! I have a better souvenir. As I left the place holding my treasure; I opened it later on only to find 2 great, big, bloody teeth.

Random Thoughts

1. I heard a problem on the radio about a man who wants to marry a second wife while his first wife has a condition on their marriage certificate that he should never marry another woman. The lawyer was by the woman's side.

2. I heard that a divorced man becomes mo3aqqad after his first failure. He strives to not to repeat his mistakes.
I also heard that a divorced man becomes easy and flexible in his second marriage in order to save his second try.

3. Some people say that marriage out of love fails in most cases. Love does not last.
Other people who choose traditional marriage fail too.

4. Good religious men with no experience in relationships want to marry beautiful girls. They feel they deserve the best. Some of them even with beards look for girls not wearing veil. But once they marry her, they start imposing their rules. Why not look for someone who wears hijab from the beginning?

5. Regular men with experience don't care that much for beauty, they settle for less. Some look for a religious covered girl because they don't trust themselves. Some marry less fortunate girls because they know they would not feel jealous.

6. She wants to wear makeup, he doesn't want her to.

7. He's sick with an incurable disease. He wishes he had another disease even if it were a worse one. He thinks at least it would have it's medicine.

8. They were exchanging mobile shots and movies of a wedding that had famous singers. One exclaimed that it was great that mobiles weren't taken at the entrance of the wedding hall. The others mocked her "they would not dare to take our mobiles". They even shared watching the movies with men. They think that as long as the audience cannot be seen clearly, they would not be known. "So what's the problem? Just shut up Missy!"

Missy replied: "If it weren't for your actions, they wouldn't have thought of taking your mobiles away".

9. It is sad when I see that two people get married without their parent's approval. It usually ends in divorce either because of arising problems or the husband submitting to his parents command (mothers mostly). He proves his strong personality in the beginning, but fails to continue. Do parents have the right to disapprove a marriage?

White Pigeon

I ran over a white fat pigeon standing on a curve coming from the highway
I felt it being crashed under my car (not under the tires)
I saw it in the mirror being split in to pieces
It's white feathers flying in the air
I saw it on my way but I thought it would fly
I had no time to think or move, as I was on a curve

Please forgive me :~(

Honey, Where are you?

A married lady called Khalid Abdul-Jaleel, the lawyer, on his weekly radio program (Saturday, 2pm) asking about her husband's behaviour. She says that he stays in the bathroom for 1-4 hours and when she asks him why he takes so long, all he says is "why are you in a hurry?". Khalid Abdul-Jaleel had no solution or an explanation to the problem as he only deals with law cases. But he added that this is the third same problem he hears in one week. He advised her to check with a psychologist.

So guys and gals, what do you think is keeping the husband for long hours in the bathroom?

Interesting topics I read on Al Watan newspaper today Friday:

1. Chef Abeer Al-Rashid says: "The way to an oriental man's heart is through his mind, and not his stomach".

2. Latest mode: Lie tests for men proposing for marriage.

Why Do fewer Women..

get married these days?

Because they would rather have bacon in the fridge, than a pig in the living room.

Arab Blog

وأخيرا تمت اضافة مدونتي على أحد القوائم

http://arabblogcount.blogspot.com

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