heffff

I hate it when I get used to people; all kinds of people. People I like and people I don’t like much. It’s what they call it in Kuwaiti (el 3ishra) and in Egyptian (3aish oo mal7). It is strange how you feel it with people you didn’t know you cared for.

My first cry in public was when I was 10. She was my English teacher who came for a short period of time to practice teaching. The day she told us that it is time to leave I found myself shedding tears. I remember feeling miserably sad and shocked by her leaving. I loved her so much. You know how some teachers were strict, others may beat, but that teacher was an angel. Maybe because she was still young or still practicing; all I know is that I loved her so much and so did the rest of the class.

I cried too when a fellow employee wanted to leave. His contract was over and there was no renewal. I was feeling sad that I’d miss him being around. But what made me shed tears is when I found an enveloped letter on my desk from him. It was hand written and the content was dramatic. I couldn’t hold my tears and started crying at work. And by that I don’t mean tearing only but crying; crying like a baby.

I feel this way too when I think of traveling. I can’t bare the thought of leaving home, my family and my room. Oh well, even my bath room. I even miss home even when I go to chalet. Some times I spend many hours outside home that I start to miss it. I feel depressed when I think of traveling. I feel choked with tears when my parents drop me at the airport. I still haven’t cried at such occasion. Maybe because I am always emotionally prepared unlike sudden events like the ones mentioned above.

I feel like crying when I see my nephew laughing. I feel like crying when I see my sick grandmother lying for what seems forever in her bed. I feel like crying when grandpa doesn’t remember who I am. I feel like crying when I see my best friend happily married. I feel like crying at weddings even if I didn’t know the bride and groom. And when it’s the wedding of people close to my heart, I feel numb.


My nephew’s hug without me asking for it; is the best thing that ever happened to me. I miss kissing his tiny chubby hands, biting his tummy, and tickling the bottom of his feet.

I miss O, who used to clean our WC at work. It stinks now.
N, I wish you ignore those ignorant people at work; I don’t want you to have a heart attack.
A, I wish he becomes a real man and appreciate you.
Myself, I wish you make up your mind.

I wish to know if my childhood nanny is still alive.

heffff (A Tweety-like kinda heffff)

I hate posting such posts.