Sunday, April 17, 2005

Archived Heart

Flamingoliya picks up her diary from her archives in her dusty shelves.. finds this topic about love.. she laughs at herself saying "ya7leely" how did I write all that? So she decides to share her diary with you hoping you'd learn from the mind and heart of a teen.. some years ago....
This is posted without any alteration in launguage or grammer from an original diary.

I always wondered what love is ,I read love stories and poems, watched romantic movies, surfed the web using the word (love), and asked people in love about the meaning of love. Despite all the effort I did, nothing helped me understanding except when I really fell in love, that's when I knew how it felt, not" what it meant" for it has no way of description, no words to express, it's all about powerful feelings that no one can know, except those who experience them.

Although love is hard to define, but I feel the urge to describe it for those confused people who don't know yet where they stand. True love starts with like and admiration for that special someone, you like them for who they are regardless of their faults; that is if you found any.

It's when your spirits unite no matter how far you are away from each other.
When love strikes you, you feel on top of the world and you're the happiest person alive.
When you walk together, you fear other peoples envy, for you found love, and they are still searching.

It's when the thought of your love doesn't leave your mind however hard you try to occupy yourself. You see their face on the TV. Screen, beside you when you're feeling blue, talking to you when you're feeling lonely, comforting you when you're in pain. They are the first thought that comes to mind when you're in crisis, for no one can heal you from pain except their charming self.

When you're together, no one else matters but them, all other people seem worthless compared to them. When you love someone, you start comparing them with whoever you meet. If you find
who you think are better people, your love wins the contest at the end, because there's no one who's as good as him, or in other words, no one makes you happier than him
He surpasses them with his soul, the mutual understanding you have, the love you share, and the feeling of total comfort that you rarely find in anyone.

When you're together, you never run out of words, even when you do, what matters is that you're together and that's what counts. No matter where you are, where you live, or what you're doing, you never get enough of each other. The word boredom doesn't exist as long as you have each other; he's your first and last source of entertainment.

Trust plays a great deal in communication. Don't listen to what friends say about him, just listen to your heart, and it will show you the way. Being honest and open matters too. You never know that you're thinking of the same thing unless one of you opens up. If you really love each other, you will listen carefully understand each other, and exert yourself to solve any problem you have in communicating .

Nothing feels better than having someone to listen to your fears, thoughts, problems, and worries like that unfair teacher, your dictator mother, that copycat friend, annoying boss, or the D you got on your geography exam.

Love is when you're not afraid to act silly together, because you know that they like you as a whole including that silly overbearing part.
Time flies unnoticed , hours pass by like few minutes, because you were too busy enjoying
each others company.

He becomes your lover, best friend, father, brother, and best of all, your guardian angel!
No matter how many people you meet, how many friends you make, you stay loyal to each other because you know no one else can fill their place.

Love isn't the only new word in your dictionary, but there are others that you start to know their real meaning. Words such as missing. It's no longer that three letter phrase you say to everyone. Missing your love is different; it makes you feel hollow and empty.

you miss them every minute you're away from each other. You may have chest pain that doesn't leave you until you get together. Jealousy is another new word. you want to be the only one In their life who matters. although you know that you are, jealousy still plays a big part.
You never get rid of it because you can never own someone, lock them in a cage, and forbid them from other relationships, or in other words, from other human interactions.

Another word is worry. You always hated you mama for being over protective, well here's why,
It's because she loves you and it's out of her control. You worry about your loves health, grades, and even car speed which you always thought is cool!
Saying "take care" when they leave home means "take care! I'll be here waiting for you, don't be late, or I'll start to worry". It's almost like what your mama always did to you. Well, it's now time for you to suffer!

When he has a goal to achieve, like winning a football match, succeeding in an exam, or running an interview, you encourage him to do all his best because you really wish him all the best. You even go to pray even though you are not that religious. It's all because you want him to be happy and successful.

Love songs, romantic poetry and movies all have a new touch now that you're in love, you never understood why Romeo and Juliet killed themselves at the end, or what Celine Dion meant by " you were my".

So go ahead, exploring their new meanings which were always vague. That precious pearl that rarely fell from your eyes now becomes a non stop tap. This is all I can say now about love, but remember, my thoughts don't count, they are only the expression of what I feel, but feelings can never be understood when they are not felt. These ideas can only help you if you were confused and feeling lost. you will never know what love is, only when you fall in love!

If you didn't yet, don't panic, someday you'll find it at your door step without notice, just be patient and grab the chance when it first comes to you. And remember
"sometimes of everything you're looking for, is the one thing you can't see".

Please note that the mind and heart of the writer has changed dramatically throughout the years...


Broke said...

Flamy .. This is really splendid .. I loved it .. tra ra7 az3al mennech if u delete it .. because I want to read it again and again .. every time the word LOVE strikes my confused brain .

wallah ennech 3ajeebah :)

Flamingoliya said...

thank you broken :D

Not_Without_My_Heels said...

Flames, You have to tell us the story behind this "Diary Entry"! Please do share :)

Salted-Caramel said...

"Please note that the mind and heart of the writer has changed dramatically throughout the years"...

I'm curious about this "dramatic change". Please share.

Gigi said...

Ooh! Everyone already said what I wanted to say!

1) Sweet entry :)
2) What NWMH said ;)
3) If you were to write another entry regarding your changed views, what would it say? :I

Gigi, unoriginally

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Peach said...

aw that is so sweet, it perfectly portrays the workings of the teenage mind ;) ah! What innocents we were huh ;)

Flamingoliya said...

Thank you all for taking the time to read my so far longest post.
Salted-Caramel, welcome to my blog :)

telling the story or stories behind this diary entry would be very revealing and painful. but the time i wrote that i was so much deluded by Shakespearian readings. love is nice and sweet, but not in the age we live in. "obey thy heart" was my motto but what i would say now is "obey thy mind"!

this is all what i can say now, maybe i'd post about it in more detail in the future :)

thank you so much i really appreciate your offer and your compliments. you're free to link to my blog :)
many thanks

Ms.Baker said...

Flaming - Ib9ara7a, intay 7akeema as the Egyptians would say. Then AND now! What you wrote then is both beautiful and indeed true. True love - or the BEST an most REAL love is when what you described when you were younger in this post, meets your advice of "obey thy mind" as well. Then you know that it is a love that is a grown-up and real, lasting love.

Flamingoliya said...

7akeema marra wa7da? :) I AM flattered!
"a long and lasting love, is what i always dreamed of" ;)

Jewaira said...

The tone is sincere and positive.

We all should hold on to ideals even when life deals you blow after blow.

When one gets enough blows, then the lesson is learned :)

Flamingoliya said...

Jewaira.. "When one gets enough blows, then the lesson is learned" i liked that...
blow after blow after blow,, i'm sick of learning :)

Bloo said...

Flamingoliya, I just took another read at your archived heart. It seems to me your definition of love fits two people mutually feeling each other. If so, then I have never been in love.

Flamingoliya said...

Vintage... this comment of yours means so much to me. thanks.

one day you will.

Princess Mestiza said...

Flamingoliya -- AMAZING..

maybe because I'm a teen I can relate (alright I'm nineteen but I telll everyone Im 18 and will every year)..

Every single WORD made me get goosebumps because I know EXACTLY what you meant, and what you were saying. I was, however, depressed that u said maybe it was a teen thing, because I hope I always feel this way.

Flamingoliya said...

Dear Princess h
it's the disappointments and harsh reality that changes the picture. love to me has become a fantacy, a dream.